They say young people tend to be impatient. But at 84 years old, I’m more impatient than ever. With each year comes more learning, questions, hopefully, wisdom, and the increasing awareness that time is even more precious. I’d better be spending it on that which is most important.

                Patience is supposed to be a virtue. Who ever said that? Not Jesus, or anyone else who’s worth following. Parents often say it to their children. Enough said. So I’m impatient. I want to grow in love and understanding, with the assumption that this stuff is eternal, and that growing in love will last forever, whatever comes after this existence of mine.

                There are many paths to this end. I have chosen the path of Jesus of Nazareth. Assuming that this path is that of Christianity, most of my life has been spent in churches, accepting roles from choir boy to ordained minister. Finally, I have become aware that for me, congregational life and worship have been more of a deterrent than a help in this most fundamental enterprise. I left church life.

                But, in the last year, I have tried out a few new traditions in hopes of finding a community whose goals were somewhat the same. Since I follow Jesus of Nazareth, a Jew, I have attended two Jewish synagogues and their study groups. I had hoped to find some of the questioning and ethical openness that formed the basis of Jesus’ Way and message. But it seems that Judaism has understandably been changed by the nearly two thousand years of persecution by Christians. Survival is what it’s all about. Tradition rules everything. Doing God’s Will, being a Light to the World, is rarely evident. Although made welcome, their path was not mine.

                I tried out the Quakers and Unitarians, as their theology most nearly coincided with mine. Questioners and doers founded both traditions. They were both famous for their roles in justice issues, for really trying to live and do as Jesus did. But not now. They meet to worship and ‘fellowship’ as do any other Christian tradition, not living any different than the rest of our doomed culture.

                So here I am again, doing my best to follow, but sharing my belief within no group. My time is too valuable to waste it trying to change or influence the groups that are so dominated by their pasts and spend so little energy on being faithful to God’s Call of Love. My limited time is better spent living and doing what little I’m able, sharing by writing and talking. But I miss the power that comes from ‘three or more being gathered’ in Jesus name. There’s nothing like it.

                So, how do I answer when someone asks if I’m a religious person? I say I’m trying to follow the Way of Jesus. That’s enough for me.

                Anthony, impatient and trying to remain hopeful.